Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Local Government Politics - Chicago Sytle

Uncle Frank was a staunch conservative, and voted straight Republican until the day he died in Chicago.

Since then he has voted Democrat.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Use Both Hands

The largest rancher in Summit County was an elderly German gentleman who had immigrated to America over 30 years ago. Even though he had lived most of his adult life in America he often preferred to speak German. 

One day while driving home from town he noticed a Summit County vehicle out in one of his fields. He soon noticed a man standing by one of his stock ponds using his hand to drink some water.

The rancher immediately stopped his truck rolled down the truck window and shouted, "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen" which literally translates to mean, “Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have defecated in it."

The county employee out in the field shouted back, "I'm the new county property tax assessor and I came out to do a new assessment of your property. I can't understand you. Can you please speak in English."

The old German rancher replied, "Welcome.  Use both your hands; you will get more water that way."

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

How One High School Teacher Made her Point

A high school English teacher had become frustrated with the lack of writing skills her students were exhibiting.  She felt it necessary to address the class regarding her concerns.
Below is what she said to her class - it was short and to the point and is good advice for all of us:  

"In a world of hi-tech gadgetry, I have noticed more and more people - especially young people - who send text and email messages frequently that seemed to have forgotten the art and importance of using capital letters in their writing. 

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

Capitalization is very important.  It is the difference between:

1) Helping your Uncle Jack off a horse.

2) Helping your uncle jack off a horse.