Correctly assigning new employees to positions they can excel in is critical for most organizations. Legend has it years ago local governments had a unique system they relied on to assign newly hired personnel.
Though not used as much today as in the past, the system had some value your HR departments or personnel selection committees might find of interest. The system is simple to apply and relatively cost effective to implement. Best of all it generates outcomes that are easily understand.
To understand the system just follow the five steps below:
1. Place 400 "new" bricks in the center of a large room.
2. Invite potential new hires into the room.
3. Once all the potential new hires are in the room excuse yourself, tell them you will return then walk out.
4. Leave all the employment candidates alone in the room for at least 4 hours.
5. When you return analyze the situation:
*********
If any of the individuals:
a. Took the initiative to count the bricks - offer them an Accounting or bookkeeper type position.
b. Counted, then recounted, the bricks offer them a job in Auditing.
c. Scattered several of the bricks around the room making it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to walk around the room consider them for a position in your Highway Department or Public Works Department.
d. Arranged a large sampling of bricks in some strange order that no one can understand, consider them for a position in your Planning Department.
e. Got frustrated while waiting for your return and threw bricks and shouted obscenities they could be ideal candidates for openings in your Operation's or Administration centers.
f. Are sleeping in a chair in the corner when you return they might work out extremely well in a Law Enforcement position.
g. Have broken a few bricks into smaller pieces and are now attempting to put them back together consider them for positions in either Information Technology, System Information or the Budget Office.
h. Are sitting idle and are not engaged in any visible activity you can see offer them a position in Human Resources or Facility Maintenance.
i. Have taken the initiative to stack several bricks neatly into different combinations and are now deep in thought contemplating even more ways to stack bricks differently put them in community development.
j. Have let the room and cannot be found anywhere in the building make sure they are placed in either parks & rec, land and water conservation, environmental services or foresty.
k. Are sitting quietly and staring intently out the windows tapping a pen or pencil on their desk consider them for a position Strategic Planning.
l. Have not touched a single brick but are desperately circulating around the room engaging others in pleasant conversations definitely place them in economic development.
m. Have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way as to create a wall barricade which makes it difficult for others to see or hear them you may have found ideal candidates to fill top level Management positions or senior level Administration
Friday, May 11, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Celibate Village Board Member
Celibacy for many can be a choice one makes or it can be a condition imposed on them by the circumstances that surround our lives.
For example, there was a local Village board member who attended a weekend marriage retreat with his wife. As they listened intently the guest Pastor declared, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other in order to have a good marriage.”
The Pastor then looked the Village board member and asked “Can you name your wife's favorite flower?” Without hesitation the Village board member beamed a big smile, touched her arm and gently said “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?”
And so began the Village Board members life of celibacy.
For example, there was a local Village board member who attended a weekend marriage retreat with his wife. As they listened intently the guest Pastor declared, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other in order to have a good marriage.”
The Pastor then looked the Village board member and asked “Can you name your wife's favorite flower?” Without hesitation the Village board member beamed a big smile, touched her arm and gently said “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?”
And so began the Village Board members life of celibacy.
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Courthouse Flag Pole
Two township officers are standing on the lawn of the County Courthouse near the base of the newly erected flag pole. Both are looking up as a school board member walks past on her way to a meeting in the Courthouse. The school board member notices her two local government colleagues and asks "What are you guys up too" ? One replies "We are just wondering how tall this new courthouse flag pole is".
"Perhaps I can help" she replies and she walks back to her car, opens her truck and returns with a small canvas bag. From the bag she takes out a wrench and asks the two township officers to steady the pole. With the wrench she unloosens two bolts running through the base of the pole.
As the bolts are loosened she directs the two township officers to let the pole tilt over slowly. Once the pole is on its side in a horizontal position the school board member takes out a tape measurer from her tool bag. She has one township office hold one end of the tape measurer at the base of the pole and she walks to the other end. As she begins to reel in the tape measurer she announces "The new pole is twenty nine feet, six inches".
She then asks the two township officers to return the pole to its upright position. She then resets the two bolts and fastens them tight. With the pole stabilized she bids her colleagues farewell, returns her tool bag to the trunk of her car then enters the courthouse.
Once she has gone inside the courthouse one township officer looks at the other and says "Now that explains why are schools are in so much trouble? Here we are talking about the height of this new courthouse pole and she gets involved and gives us the length!"
"Perhaps I can help" she replies and she walks back to her car, opens her truck and returns with a small canvas bag. From the bag she takes out a wrench and asks the two township officers to steady the pole. With the wrench she unloosens two bolts running through the base of the pole.
As the bolts are loosened she directs the two township officers to let the pole tilt over slowly. Once the pole is on its side in a horizontal position the school board member takes out a tape measurer from her tool bag. She has one township office hold one end of the tape measurer at the base of the pole and she walks to the other end. As she begins to reel in the tape measurer she announces "The new pole is twenty nine feet, six inches".
She then asks the two township officers to return the pole to its upright position. She then resets the two bolts and fastens them tight. With the pole stabilized she bids her colleagues farewell, returns her tool bag to the trunk of her car then enters the courthouse.
Once she has gone inside the courthouse one township officer looks at the other and says "Now that explains why are schools are in so much trouble? Here we are talking about the height of this new courthouse pole and she gets involved and gives us the length!"
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Reader Feedback Request
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Thanks
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment area of any post.
Thanks
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Always Use The Right Words
It was the first anniversary of the new County Hospital and a community wide celebration was held to mark this event. After a terrific meal the County Board Chair walked up to the podium and asked if any guest in the audience would like to share how the new County Hospital had benefited them or a member of their family.
A lady in the back of the room stood up and walked up to the podium. She said she would like to thank the County Board for moving forward with this wonderful hospital and to personally thank all the Doctors, Nurses and staff who work at this County facility.
She went on to say that a few months after the new County Hospital opened her husband George was involved in a terrible automobile accident. As a result of this accident his scrotum was completely crushed and almost destroyed. She said the pain George expereinced following the accident was excruciating and the Doctors told her they were not really sure if they could even help George.
As she spoke there was an audible gasp from all the men in the audience as they tried to image the unbelievable pain poor George experienced with his crushed scrotum.
The wife continued, George was in so much pain from his crushed scrotum that he was unable to hold me or lift up our grandchildren. However the doctor's at this great facitlily agreed to perform a delicate and dangerous operation. Because of this modern facility they were able to piece together the crushed remnant's of Goerge' scrotum and wrap them in wire mesh to hold them in place long enough so it could properly heal.
Again all the me in the audience sat squirming in their chairs as they tried to imagine the horrible surgery George had to endure.
The wife then continued, Now that George is out of the hospital and the Doctors are confident that with time his scrotum will completely recover he will once again be a whole man.
All the men now sighed with relief.
As the lady walked off the podium the County Board Chair led a large round of applause then asked if there was anyone else in the audience had anything to say about the new hospital.
A man in the back of the room rose, then slowly walked up to the podium. Once at the podium he said "Hi, I am George... I want to tell all of you, and especially my wife -once again, the word is sternum- STER-NUM
A lady in the back of the room stood up and walked up to the podium. She said she would like to thank the County Board for moving forward with this wonderful hospital and to personally thank all the Doctors, Nurses and staff who work at this County facility.
She went on to say that a few months after the new County Hospital opened her husband George was involved in a terrible automobile accident. As a result of this accident his scrotum was completely crushed and almost destroyed. She said the pain George expereinced following the accident was excruciating and the Doctors told her they were not really sure if they could even help George.
As she spoke there was an audible gasp from all the men in the audience as they tried to image the unbelievable pain poor George experienced with his crushed scrotum.
The wife continued, George was in so much pain from his crushed scrotum that he was unable to hold me or lift up our grandchildren. However the doctor's at this great facitlily agreed to perform a delicate and dangerous operation. Because of this modern facility they were able to piece together the crushed remnant's of Goerge' scrotum and wrap them in wire mesh to hold them in place long enough so it could properly heal.
Again all the me in the audience sat squirming in their chairs as they tried to imagine the horrible surgery George had to endure.
The wife then continued, Now that George is out of the hospital and the Doctors are confident that with time his scrotum will completely recover he will once again be a whole man.
All the men now sighed with relief.
As the lady walked off the podium the County Board Chair led a large round of applause then asked if there was anyone else in the audience had anything to say about the new hospital.
A man in the back of the room rose, then slowly walked up to the podium. Once at the podium he said "Hi, I am George... I want to tell all of you, and especially my wife -once again, the word is sternum- STER-NUM
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Village President's Annual Physical
Upon arriving for his annual physical, the Village President of a small community in a western state was greeted by a newly hired physician. His regular doctor was unavailable and this young doctor was asked to fill in.
Not personally knowing the Village President, the young doctor took a few minutes to get acquainted. He asked the Village President to describe his typical daily activity level. Thinking for a moment the Village President responded: “Well that’s a hard question Doc, but if I had to describe a typical day it would probably go something like this: Wading along the shoreline of a spring fed lake, marching up and down steep hills over and over again, running away from a pack of wild dogs that hide in the thick brush, walking through a patch of poison ivy, crawling out of mud pits that feel like quicksand and jumping away from poisonous and aggressive rattlesnakes."
“Wow”! Said the young doctor, “I guess you are some big time outdoor’s man?" "No“, replied the Village President "I'm just a terrible golfer."
Not personally knowing the Village President, the young doctor took a few minutes to get acquainted. He asked the Village President to describe his typical daily activity level. Thinking for a moment the Village President responded: “Well that’s a hard question Doc, but if I had to describe a typical day it would probably go something like this: Wading along the shoreline of a spring fed lake, marching up and down steep hills over and over again, running away from a pack of wild dogs that hide in the thick brush, walking through a patch of poison ivy, crawling out of mud pits that feel like quicksand and jumping away from poisonous and aggressive rattlesnakes."
“Wow”! Said the young doctor, “I guess you are some big time outdoor’s man?" "No“, replied the Village President "I'm just a terrible golfer."
Friday, February 24, 2012
Why Most Local Governments Don’t Have Casual Dress on Fridays
Below is an acutal scenario that could have happened in any local government unit.
Memo No. 1 - Week 1. The County Board is pleased to announce that it has approved a Casual Dress Day program. Beginning this Friday all County employees may wear casual attire to work on Fridays.
Memo No. 2 - Week 2. Because we serve the public the County Board would like to share some additional guidance regarding our newly established casual dress day program. Many board members believe athletic T-shirts, sweatpants, spandex shorts, leather micro-miniskirts and moccasins are inappropriate attire for employees to wear to work on Fridays.
Memo No. 3 -Week 3. The County Board would like to remind everyone that the term "Casual Fridays" refers only to employee dress, not employee work attitudes.
Memo No. 4 - Week 4. A seminar has been scheduled for all County employees on Wednesday. This seminar, entitled: How to dress for Casual Dress Days will be held in the County Board room and be conducted at two different times to accommodate all employees work schedules. The first seminar will be at 9AM and the second at 3PM. Attendance at this seminar is mandatory for all employees.
Memo No. 5 - Week 5. Based on the feedback received from last week's seminars, the County Board has authorized the creation of a 14-member Casual Day Task Force {CDTF} committee to solicit employee suggestions and publish written guidelines for proper dress standards for County Casual Fridays.
Memo No. 6 - Week 7. The Casual Day Task Force committee has completed an easy-to-read, 34-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Standards." This manual is now at the printers and should be distributed next week. If you do not receive your personal copy by next Thursday contact your unit's CDTF representative. Upon receipt of your manual make a point to read Chapter 9 "You Are What You Wear" and also refer to the appendix 5 titled: "Home Casual versus Business Casual" before leaving for work on Fridays.
Memo No. 7 - Week 10. The County Board would like to inform all employees that arrangements have been made with our Employee Assistant Plan (EAP) provided to expand this service to provide 24 hour telephone counseling for any employee having difficulty adjusting to our new County Casual Friday Dress program.
Memo No. 8 - Week 12. Due to recent unforeseen budget constraints the County Board regrets to inform all County employees that it is no longer able to financially support a Casual Dress Friday program; effective immediately the County Casual Dress Friday Program is hereby terminated.
Memo No. 2 - Week 2. Because we serve the public the County Board would like to share some additional guidance regarding our newly established casual dress day program. Many board members believe athletic T-shirts, sweatpants, spandex shorts, leather micro-miniskirts and moccasins are inappropriate attire for employees to wear to work on Fridays.
Memo No. 3 -Week 3. The County Board would like to remind everyone that the term "Casual Fridays" refers only to employee dress, not employee work attitudes.
Memo No. 4 - Week 4. A seminar has been scheduled for all County employees on Wednesday. This seminar, entitled: How to dress for Casual Dress Days will be held in the County Board room and be conducted at two different times to accommodate all employees work schedules. The first seminar will be at 9AM and the second at 3PM. Attendance at this seminar is mandatory for all employees.
Memo No. 5 - Week 5. Based on the feedback received from last week's seminars, the County Board has authorized the creation of a 14-member Casual Day Task Force {CDTF} committee to solicit employee suggestions and publish written guidelines for proper dress standards for County Casual Fridays.
Memo No. 6 - Week 7. The Casual Day Task Force committee has completed an easy-to-read, 34-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Standards." This manual is now at the printers and should be distributed next week. If you do not receive your personal copy by next Thursday contact your unit's CDTF representative. Upon receipt of your manual make a point to read Chapter 9 "You Are What You Wear" and also refer to the appendix 5 titled: "Home Casual versus Business Casual" before leaving for work on Fridays.
Memo No. 7 - Week 10. The County Board would like to inform all employees that arrangements have been made with our Employee Assistant Plan (EAP) provided to expand this service to provide 24 hour telephone counseling for any employee having difficulty adjusting to our new County Casual Friday Dress program.
Memo No. 8 - Week 12. Due to recent unforeseen budget constraints the County Board regrets to inform all County employees that it is no longer able to financially support a Casual Dress Friday program; effective immediately the County Casual Dress Friday Program is hereby terminated.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
I'm Fines
John Smith, a farmer from a western state, decided the injuries he received during a vehicle accident earlier in the year were now serious enough to sue the trucking company responsible for the accident. When his case went to court, the lawyer for the trucking firm began his questioning of Mr. Smith.
"Mr. Smith for the record, didn't you state at the scene of the accident, that you felt fine and had absolutely no pain?"
''Well yes, but let me explain, I was towing my trailer with my mule Bessie in the t ===="
''I didn't ask you for any details of the accident Mr Smith'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer my question. Did you, or did you not, tell the Deputy Sheriff who reported to the scene of the accident that you were fine?"
''Well yes, but you see as I drove the trailer ----'' . ''Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this farmer told a Sheriff's Deputy that he was “just fine”. Now several months later he is suing my client - a reputable and upstanding business in this community, a firm that not only serves other local businesses but also a firm that provides numerous jobs to our neighbors, friends and residents of our community. Your honor I believe this man is a fraud and ask you to direct him to answer my question.''
The Judge, an acquaintance of Mr. Smith, seemed interested in what he had to say and overrode the trucking firm's attorney's concerns and instructed Mr. Smith to proceed with his reply. ''Thank you Judge," said Mr. Smith.
"Well as I was saying, I was towing my trailer with Bessie, my mule, in it. We were heading to the veterinarian's office when a huge semi-truck ran a stop sign and broad sided my pick up. I was thrown into the ditch on one side of the road and old Bessie was thrown clear across the road into the other ditch.
As I laid there on the side of the road I was hurting real bad, the pain was unbearable and I couldn’t move. I could hear ol' Bessie moaning across the road and knew she was in terrible shape. Within minutes a Deputy Sheriff arrived at the scene. The Deputy heard Bessie's moaning and immediately went over to her. As he looked at her he saw the pain she was experiencing . Without any warning he took out his gun and shot her right there on the road. He shot her right between the eyes.
After he shot Bessie the Deputy then started walking towards me. With his gun still his hand, he knelt down when he got next to me and looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Mister your mule was in bad shape; she was in a lot of pain. I had no choice but to put her out of her misery. Now tell me old timer how are you feeling?"
Well your Honor, I was scared what could I tell him? I had to tell him I was fine.
"Mr. Smith for the record, didn't you state at the scene of the accident, that you felt fine and had absolutely no pain?"
''Well yes, but let me explain, I was towing my trailer with my mule Bessie in the t ===="
''I didn't ask you for any details of the accident Mr Smith'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer my question. Did you, or did you not, tell the Deputy Sheriff who reported to the scene of the accident that you were fine?"
''Well yes, but you see as I drove the trailer ----'' . ''Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this farmer told a Sheriff's Deputy that he was “just fine”. Now several months later he is suing my client - a reputable and upstanding business in this community, a firm that not only serves other local businesses but also a firm that provides numerous jobs to our neighbors, friends and residents of our community. Your honor I believe this man is a fraud and ask you to direct him to answer my question.''
The Judge, an acquaintance of Mr. Smith, seemed interested in what he had to say and overrode the trucking firm's attorney's concerns and instructed Mr. Smith to proceed with his reply. ''Thank you Judge," said Mr. Smith.
"Well as I was saying, I was towing my trailer with Bessie, my mule, in it. We were heading to the veterinarian's office when a huge semi-truck ran a stop sign and broad sided my pick up. I was thrown into the ditch on one side of the road and old Bessie was thrown clear across the road into the other ditch.
As I laid there on the side of the road I was hurting real bad, the pain was unbearable and I couldn’t move. I could hear ol' Bessie moaning across the road and knew she was in terrible shape. Within minutes a Deputy Sheriff arrived at the scene. The Deputy heard Bessie's moaning and immediately went over to her. As he looked at her he saw the pain she was experiencing . Without any warning he took out his gun and shot her right there on the road. He shot her right between the eyes.
After he shot Bessie the Deputy then started walking towards me. With his gun still his hand, he knelt down when he got next to me and looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Mister your mule was in bad shape; she was in a lot of pain. I had no choice but to put her out of her misery. Now tell me old timer how are you feeling?"
Well your Honor, I was scared what could I tell him? I had to tell him I was fine.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Township Officer's Part-time Job
With things going pretty good at the township, a township officer decided to apply for a job as a store greeter at the new Wal-Mart recently built in the community. His thought was a job at Wal-Mart, a high traffic store, would help him get a better feel and understanding on all the things going on in the community and he also believed he and his wife would enjoy the extra dollars he earned from this part-time position.
Surprisingly he was fired just a few hours after starting on his shift. When asked by his fellow township officials what happened he gave the following explanation.
About two hours into my shift a very loud, unattractive and belligerent woman walked into the store dragging her two children behind her. She was yelling obscenities at them all the way through the store entrance. When she neared where I was standing I said pleasantly, "Good morning Ma'am and welcome to Wal-Mart. I then added nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The woman stopped her yelling just long enough to look me straight in the eyes and say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one is 9, and the youngest is 7. Now why in the hell would a man your age think theses boys twins? Are you blind, or just plain stupid?'
I replied neither Ma'am - I just can't believe that someone slept with you twice. I then added have a good day and thanked her for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
Well when my supervisor heard about the incident he came out and took me to the side and said I probably didn't have the right personality for this line of work and fired me.
Surprisingly he was fired just a few hours after starting on his shift. When asked by his fellow township officials what happened he gave the following explanation.
About two hours into my shift a very loud, unattractive and belligerent woman walked into the store dragging her two children behind her. She was yelling obscenities at them all the way through the store entrance. When she neared where I was standing I said pleasantly, "Good morning Ma'am and welcome to Wal-Mart. I then added nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The woman stopped her yelling just long enough to look me straight in the eyes and say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one is 9, and the youngest is 7. Now why in the hell would a man your age think theses boys twins? Are you blind, or just plain stupid?'
I replied neither Ma'am - I just can't believe that someone slept with you twice. I then added have a good day and thanked her for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
Well when my supervisor heard about the incident he came out and took me to the side and said I probably didn't have the right personality for this line of work and fired me.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Public Safety Update! Horseback Riding Tragedy Averted
It was recently reported that a City Council member narrowly escaped serious injury last Friday morning while attempting to ride a horse with no prior experience. Bystanders say the public official, who had no prior experience riding horses, mounted a horse - a golden Palomino - unassisted. As he settled in the saddle, the horse unexpectedly bolted and began to gallop at a rapid pace.
Startled the City Council member lost control of the reins. Witnesses say he did try to grab the horse's mane but was unable to secure a firm grip and he began to slip sideways off the saddle. Frantic, he threw his arms around the animal's neck; however he continued to slide downward. All the while the galloping Palomino was totally oblivious its riders predicament.
Believing it was just a matter of time before he' fall under the beast, the local official attempted to leap from the horse and throw himself to safety; unfortunately his feet were entangled in the stirrups and he could not leap off the horse.
Moments before sliding under the horse feet, a colleague, a township officer from a nearby community saw the situation unfolding and quickly came to his aid. After carefully assessing the situation she decided the best thing to do was to unplug the cord.
With the cord unplugged the horse quickly came to a quiet rest. After she determined her colleague was was unhurt and out of danger the Township Official decided to continue with her errands and entered Wal-Mart to do her shopping.
Startled the City Council member lost control of the reins. Witnesses say he did try to grab the horse's mane but was unable to secure a firm grip and he began to slip sideways off the saddle. Frantic, he threw his arms around the animal's neck; however he continued to slide downward. All the while the galloping Palomino was totally oblivious its riders predicament.
Believing it was just a matter of time before he' fall under the beast, the local official attempted to leap from the horse and throw himself to safety; unfortunately his feet were entangled in the stirrups and he could not leap off the horse.
Moments before sliding under the horse feet, a colleague, a township officer from a nearby community saw the situation unfolding and quickly came to his aid. After carefully assessing the situation she decided the best thing to do was to unplug the cord.
With the cord unplugged the horse quickly came to a quiet rest. After she determined her colleague was was unhurt and out of danger the Township Official decided to continue with her errands and entered Wal-Mart to do her shopping.
Unconfirmed reports are now surfacing that the City Council member is currently drafting a new city ordinance that will mandate all amusement rides located at area businesses, shopping centers and arcades be monitored and supervised at all times.
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