Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Explaining The Federal Stimulus Plan

After class ended a young college student approached his economics professor and said, "Sir I don't understanding why the economic stimulus bill  passed by Congress a few years ago has not benefited our local community as expected. Can you explain why?"

"Sure, I’d love to, replied the professor but I don't have time right now; however if you will come to my house this evening after supper I'll be glad to explain why the federal stimulus bill has not worked and you can help me with a special project I am working on." 

Around 7PM the student arrived at the professor's home and was told by the professor’s wife to go around backyard. The Professor who was in the backyard near his pool raking leaves and saw his student and walk over. He greeted the young man and handed him a large plastic bucket. "Watch carefully said the Professor as I demonstrate what I would like you to do. First, go to the deep end of the pool and fill this bucket with water. Then bring the bucket back down here to the shallow end and empty it here in the pool.  Got it?"  The student nodded.

After three or four trips to the deep end with the bucket the student walked over to the professor and asked, "Sir, what are we trying to accomplish with this activity?" The professor replied 'we are trying to make the shallow end deeper".  Rather then question his professor the student went back and make a few more trips with his bucket.  Finally feeling frustrated he walked back to his professor's side and said "Sir I am sorry to say this but I believe we are wasting time." "What!" asked the professor - what are you talking about?

"Well Sir it seems to me that no matter how much water we take from the deep end and put in the shallow end the water levels at both ends of the pool are going to remain the same" 
The professor put down his rake, stood straight up, grabbed the student by his shoulders and said, "Congratulations. You now understand why the federal stimulus plan has not achieved the desired results it was suppose have in our local communities."

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Brain Trusters and Natural Born Citizens

Every community across the county has a small group of residents who meet daily at one of the local coffee shops. These groups tend to be comprised mainly of men who are either retired or self-employed.  People who live in the area {especially every local public official} are aware of "their local group" because they proclaim to be the experts on everything. They believe they know what is wrong and who screwed it up.

Generally these groups are given affectionate names like the "the good ole boy club" or the one I like best "the local brain trust'

Ironically no one in the community can actually recall when the, brain trust resolved anything or did anything good for the community;  that's because the brain trust doesn't focus on solving problems, its delight comes from only identifying problems and then deciding who should be blamed.  Sometimes the brain trust takes on the problems in the State and national government but their primary focus and real thrill comes from finding local problems - problems in the cities and counties they live and the school boards that serve their communities. 

On one particular day the brain trust was discussing the qualifications to run for President of the United States.  Some  members in the brain trust believed that two of the existing requirements to run for President: 

      a) Be a natural born citizen, and

      b) Be at least 35 years of age

were outdated and may only serve only to prevent capable people from running for President.  One long time member of the brain trust - named Charlie - one of the more vocal members of this group openly stated the requirement to be a natural born citizen was totally unfair and down right discriminatory.

Few of the other brain trust members agreed with Charlie on this point and none were ready to concede to eliminate this requirement which really upset Charlie something fierce.

Charlie couldn't take it any more and finally shouted out: What makes a natural born American citizen any more qualified to lead this country than an American citizen who was born by C-section?"