Friday, February 24, 2012

Why Most Local Governments Don’t Have Casual Dress on Fridays

Below is an actual scenario that could have happened in any local government unit.

Memo No. 1 - Week 1.  The  County Board is pleased to announce that it has approved a Casual Dress Day program. Beginning this Friday, all County employees may wear casual attire to work on Fridays.

Memo No. 2 - Week 2.  Because we serve the public, the County Board would like to share some additional guidance regarding our newly established Casual Dress Day program. Many Board members believe athletic T-shirts, sweatpants, spandex shorts, leather micro-miniskirts, and moccasins are inappropriate attire for employees to wear to work on Fridays.

Memo No. 3 - Week 3. The County Board would like to remind everyone that the term "Casual Fridays" refers only to employee dress, not employee work attitudes.

Memo No. 4 - Week 4.  A seminar has been scheduled for all County employees on Wednesday.  This seminar, entitled: How to Dress for Casual Dress Days will be held in the County Board room and be conducted at two different times to accommodate all employees' work schedules.  The first seminar will be at 9 a.m. and the second at 3 p.m.    Attendance at this seminar is mandatory for all employees.

Memo No. 5 - Week 5.  Based on the feedback received from last week's seminars, the County Board has authorized the creation of a 14-member Casual Day Task Force {CDTF} committee to solicit employee suggestions and publish written guidelines for proper dress standards for County Casual Fridays.

Memo No. 6 - Week 7. The Casual Day Task Force committee has completed an easy-to-read, 34-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Standards." This manual is now at the printers and should be distributed next week.  If you do not receive your personal copy by next Thursday, contact your unit's CDTF representative.  Upon receipt of your manual, make a point to read Chapter 9, "You Are What You Wear," and also refer to the appendix 5 titled: "Home Casual versus Business Casual" before leaving for work on Friday.

Memo No. 7 - Week 10. The County Board would like to inform all employees that arrangements have been made with our Employee Assistant Plan (EAP) provided to expand this service to provide 24-hour telephone counseling for any employee having difficulty adjusting to our new County Casual Friday Dress program.

Memo No. 8 - Week 12.  Due to recent unforeseen budget constraints, the County Board regrets to inform all County employees that it is no longer able to financially support a Casual Dress Friday program.  Effective immediately, the County Casual Dress Friday program is hereby terminated.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I'm Fine

John Smith, a farmer from a western state, decided the injuries he received during a vehicle accident earlier in the year were now serious enough to sue the trucking company responsible for the accident.  When his case went to court, the lawyer for the trucking firm began questioning Mr.  Smith.

"Mr. Smith, for the record didn't you state at the scene of the accident that you felt fine and had absolutely no pain?"
''Well yes, but let me explain, I was towing my trailer with my mule Bessie in the t ----"

''I didn't ask you for any details of the accident, Mr. Smith,
'' the lawyer interrupted.  "Just answer my question.  Did you, or did you not, tell the deputy sheriff who reported to the scene of the accident that you were fine?"

''Well yes, but you see as I drove the trailer ----''  
"Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that at the scene of the accident this farmer told a sheriff's deputy that he was just fine.  Now several months later, he is suing my client, a reputable and upstanding businessman in this community, a firm that not only serves other local businesses but also a firm that provides numerous jobs to our neighbors, friends, and residents of our community.  Your Honor, I believe this man is a fraud and ask you to direct him to answer my question."
The Judge, an acquaintance of Mr. Smith, seemed  interested in what he had to say and overrode the trucking firm's attorney's concerns and instructed Mr. Smith to proceed with his reply.  ''Thank you Judge," said Mr. Smith.

"Well as I was saying, I was towing my trailer with Bessie, my mule, in it.  We were heading to the veterinarian's office when a huge semi-truck ran a stop sign and broad-sided my pickup.  I was thrown into the ditch on one side of the road and old Bessie was thrown clear across the road into the other ditch.

As I laid there on the side of the road, I was hurting real bad; the pain was unbearable and I couldn’t move.  I could hear ol' Bessie moaning across the road and knew she was in terrible shape.  Within minutes, a deputy sheriff arrived at the scene. The deputy heard Bessie's moaning and immediately went over to her.  As he looked at her, he saw the pain she was experiencing .  Without any warning he took out his gun and shot her right there on the road.  He shot her right between the eyes.

After he shot Bessie, the deputy then started walking towards me.  When he got next to me, with his gun still in his hand, he knelt down, looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Mister, your mule was in bad shape; she was in a lot of pain. I had no choice but to put her out of her misery.  Now tell me old timer how are you feeling?' 

Well your Honor, I was scared; what could I tell him? I had to tell him I was fine."