Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Mayor Avoids Catastrophic Injury Due To Quick Thinking And Actions of A Township Officer

A local mayor was reported to have narrowly escaped injuries this week as the result of a quick-thinking township officer. We were informed that the mayor was attempting to mount a horse - a small golden palomino - even though he had never ridden a horse before.   

Bystanders at the scene confirmed that as the mayor was positioning himself in the saddle, the small palomino bolted and took off in a full gallop. Startled by the horse's unexpected actions the mayor lost control of the reins and began to slide out of the saddle. To stop his sliding, the mayor attempted to grab the horse’s mane but no matter how hard he tried, the mayor could not maintain a firm grip. 

Frantic that he would fall under the horse’s galloping hoofs, the mayor threw his arms around the horse’s neck and held on tight but even then he continued to slide off the saddle. The horse meanwhile was totally oblivious to the mayor’s plight and continued to run at full speed.  

Realizing it was just a matter of time before he would fall off the horse and perhaps land under the horses legs, the mayor decided to leap from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot was now entangled in one of the stirrups making it impossible to jump.

Just moments before falling completely off the horse, a local township officer from a nearby community who was entering Wal-Mart at that time saw the mayor’s plight and quickly ran over to his aid. She unplugged the cord and assisted the mayor in getting down from the horse and then checked him for any injuries. Though the mayor was considerably shaken up by this horseback riding ordeal, he appeared unhurt so the township officer left and entered Wal-Mart to continue on with her shopping.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Local Government Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of the sentence or phrase is generally an unexpected surprise.  Often times paraprosdokians come across humorous. 

Here are some great parapsdokians which would apply to local government.  I hope you find them of interest.  If you think they are true - let me know. 

1. When Commissioner Jones was first elected to the county board, he was often indecisive; now that he is in his third term in office, he’s just not sure.

2. The last thing we want to do is raise your property taxes...but we still have that option on our list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, Council Member Smith appears very bright until you hear him speak.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Though This Is Not Humor Related - It Sure Did Make Me Smile.

Your blog post "How Local Government Decisions Are Really Made" was just featured on GovLoop  - Knowledge Network for Government....because it was awesome.

Keep up the awesome
- Steve

To see your blog post featured, visit:

Monday, July 8, 2013

The Irate Taxpayer and The City Council Member

An irate taxpayer walked into a bar following a city council meeting. He had attended the city council meeting to ask the council for a zoning variance to build a wooden deck on his new house. The city council disapproved his variance.

He is about to order his drink when he sees the city council member who made the motion not to approve his variance walk into the bar. The taxpayer shouts over to the bartender so loud everyone can hear, especially the city council member and yells, "Drinks for everyone bartender, accept that damn city council member at the end of the bar. "

Soon after everyone's drink was served, the city council member gives the guy a big wave, smiles and says, "Thank you!" which infuriates the taxpayer even more.

A few minutes pass and once again the taxpayer shouts out "Drinks for everyone bartender, except for the damn city council member.

As before, this does not seem to bother the city council member. He again smiles and yells, "Thank you!"

The taxpayer once again loudly shouts, "Drinks for everyone except the city council member." 

As before, the city council member city smiles and again yells, "Thank you!"

The taxpayer calls the bartender over and asks, "What the hell is the matter with that  city council member? I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar accept him, and all that idiot does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts or what?"

"No," replies the bartender. "He owns the place".

The Best Local Government Joke I Ever Heard

A County Board member, a City Council person and a township officer were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Truck Driver and The County Deputy

A truck driver was driving along a rural county highway in the middle of nowhere on his way to make a special delivery.   All of a sudden out of nowhere he notices a sign that reads: Low Bridge Ahead.

Before he knew it, the bridge was in front of him and his truck got wedged under it. The few cars that are on this rural county highway are now backing.

A sheriff's deputy quickly arrives on the scene.  The deputy gets out of his car and walks over to the truck driver who is standing beside his truck.   The deputy puts his hands on his hips and smartly says, '"Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver, not in a mood for any law enforcement sarcasm says, "No, Officer, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."