Thursday, May 22, 2014

County Fair Awards

John was a chicken farmer in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens) called "pullets" and ten roosters whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

John kept detailed records and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was immediately replaced. Keeping an eye on each of the roosters took an awful lot of John’s time so he bought a set of tiny brass bells and attached them to his roosters’ necks. Each rooster was given a different bell tone so John could tell from a distance which roosters were out and about doing their job. Now John could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

John’s favorite rooster was Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on one particular day, John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung all morning so John went to investigate. All the other roosters were out chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover back in the coop.

But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak so it wouldn't ring. He'd then sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next pullet. John was so proud of old Butch; he decided to enter him in the county fair which was scheduled the following month.  At the fair Butch became a sensation with all the county fair judges.

The result ...The county fair judges were unanimous with their decision. They awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize along with the Pullet Surprise Award as well.

Clearly old Butch was a political figure in the making. Who else but a local government official would devise a way to win two of the most highly coveted county fair awards by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in your local government elections ... the bells may not always audible!


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