Local Government Officials - Be Careful When You Offer To Lend a Hand

A township officer drove to town early one morning to an auto repair shop. He wanted an oil change and the tires rotated on his pickup. It was a busy morning and the shop owner said they couldn't possibly get to his car until early that afternoon. Since the township officer lived close to the repair shop, he decided to leave his car and just walk home as he could use the exercise.

On his way home he stopped in at the hardware store and bought a large plastic bucket and a gallon of paint for a project his wife was working on around the house. Then he made a second stop at the local feed store where he bought two chickens and a goose for his grandson who was going to begin a 4-H project. However as he started walking home, he now struggled with how to best carry all these cumbersome items.

While stand and scratching his head looking at all his items, he was approached by a very attractive woman close to his age who said she was lost. She was new in town and wanted to get to 1603 S. Mockingbird Lane.

The township officer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my house is very close to that house. I would gladly walk you there but I can't seem to carry all this stuff I bought."

The lady looked at what he had and then suggested, "If you put the can of paint in the bucket, then carry the bucket in one hand and put one chicken under each of your arms you would be able to carry the goose in your hands.''

"Why thank you lady.  That is a great idea." He did exactly what she said and they proceeded on their walk. On the way he suggested, "We can take a short cut through this alley and be there in no time."

The lady stopped, looked him over cautiously and said, "Sir, I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that once we get halfway down the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

He laughed and explained that she had nothing to fear because he was an elected township officer.  “Besides lady, I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly be able hold you up against the wall and do all that to you that you described?"

The lady replied, "Well if you set the goose down, covered it with the bucket, put the gallon of paint on top of the bucket, and let me hold one chicken while you hold the other I am pretty sure you could easily have your way with me."